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Mistress of None

by Mistress of None

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1.
Sunsets 02:28
He who collects sunsets red as embers in his hand. Who captures crimson evenings casting colors on the sand. He’s nowhere near this place. I yearn for his embrace. For him to be here where I am. It always seems to take me by surprise, like catching my reflection in his eyes. How against the odds it seemed – he saw me in his dreams, and once again, after the sunrise. He who collects sunsets red as embers in his hand. Who captures crimson evenings casting colors on the sand. My world’s in disarray. Take me to the bay. Take me to that place of yours beyond my reach, beside the shores. I will watch wonder of your ways. It always seems to take me by surprise, like catching my reflection in his eyes – seeing stars again, as they saw me in his dreams. If this story feels like fiction can this feeling be as real as it seems.
2.
I knew a boy who was wise in his years, ridden with sorrows, and burdened with fears. Unchecked emotion, it muddled his mind. He in his nature was awfully unkind. As we grew older he swept me away; eloped 'cross the border, he led me astray. That was his mission, he claimed, from above. He wasn’t perfect but we were in love. He’d get consumed by the throes of his feeling. It kindled a fire that fueled him inside. There was no way to be rid of what’s in him, and I was a bit terrified, when he asked if I would be his bride. The years, they flew swiftly after we were wed. And then on one evening while lying in bed – There he was sleeping, and between his breath, I heard him whisper that I'd meet my death. Then came the dawn and I knew what to do. I feared for my life – feared the sight of him, too. I ran to the kitchen and there, fetched a knife. This was to be the last day of his life. Next he approached me all stricken with madness. I saw in his eyes there, the evil he willed. “Put down the knife,” he said, but I knew better – I knew he had to be killed. He lunged for my weapon, I ran for the doorway. I nearly escaped but he caught me in time. He wanted to end me, but fell on my blade, and I know it sounds crazy, maybe it is – I defended my life at the expense of his, and that's how I committed this crime. Well now, your Honor, you’ve heard my defense. Let the judicial proceedings commence. Now let the jury decide whom to blame. I’m either not guilty, or simply insane.
3.
The tomes of untold stories I’ve seen flicker in your eyes could have awed Scheherazade – But is telling you unwise? I would sit in purgatory while the preachers moralize if I could foil this mortal coil and love you uncompromised But I do it all the same I love you all the same Despite my shame We all have our demons and they wage a war inside Mine is like a parasite that’s nourished by my pride Were you to forgive me would be saintliness at best Or at worst, it would cure the cursed feeling that sits squarely in my chest I confess, I had a feeling about you before even I could attest It was clear, that my foolish emotions were muddled by drama and Fear of all that wasn’t Fear of all that was Fear of all the judgment, And fear that doesn’t matter now Because I see The things in this world that matter Are few and far between And my sense of purpose is shattered If our lives are tragic If I believe that’s true I’d rather mine be tragic With you

credits

released June 19, 2018

Music and lyrics by Mistress of None
Recorded and co-produced by Alex Ryaboy

Mistress of None (voice, guitar)
Alex Ryaboy (guitar, bass)

Photography and cover design: Ilya Popenko

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